i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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