Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
