Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
