His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
