omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize