We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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