Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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