spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
