I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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