I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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