I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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