guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
