yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just found puke in my bra..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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