I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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