I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
