after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
