Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
