Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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