I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
