he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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