Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
