at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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