i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
