you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
