Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize