IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
