Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
