Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

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  (443): and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life. http://tfl.nu/6kb7
  Replies (8) Good night (4131) Bad night (633)
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  (516): View more from New York

  You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online

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  (516): You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online http://tfl.nu/xicc
  Replies (11) Good night (4000) Bad night (1201)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!

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  (304): STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us! http://tfl.nu/rgw4
  Replies (31) Good night (8049) Bad night (814)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested

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  (217): Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested http://tfl.nu/xgcc
  Replies (3) Good night (2520) Bad night (670)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter

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  (636): there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter http://tfl.nu/6rqt
  Replies (3) Good night (2379) Bad night (929)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.

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  (802): All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed. http://tfl.nu/ahym
  Replies (4) Good night (1771) Bad night (573)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter

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  (775): Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls (702): Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter http://tfl.nu/jyvi
  Replies (9) Good night (4659) Bad night (871)
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  (949): View more from California

  am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?

  (415): View more from California

  i thought you knew

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  (949): am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy? (415): i thought you knew http://tfl.nu/8kec
  Replies (4) Good night (1838) Bad night (671)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.

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  (847): Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/37ux
  Replies (13) Good night (2585) Bad night (835)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  this is the second day in a row.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.

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  (330): I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza. (216): this is the second day in a row. (330): Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then. http://tfl.nu/tsfk
  Replies (6) Good night (2053) Bad night (747)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2215) Bad night (531)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.

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  (405): yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt. http://tfl.nu/yslp
  Replies (6) Good night (1109) Bad night (454)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"

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  (613): The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO" http://tfl.nu/6o6m
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (488)
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  (408): View more from California

  look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.

  (1-408): View more from California

  eating on the run again ?

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  (408): look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags. (1-408): eating on the run again ? http://tfl.nu/uddy
  Replies (1) Good night (762) Bad night (303)
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  (408): View more from California

  Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.

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  (408): Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher. http://tfl.nu/o3bs
  Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (360)

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