I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!