Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
