Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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  (202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence? http://tfl.nu/vo8s
  Replies (2) Good night (1043) Bad night (711)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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  (937): oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing http://tfl.nu/lc8m
  Replies (75) Good night (5592) Bad night (895)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?

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  (901): Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky? http://tfl.nu/axi1
  Replies (30) Good night (750) Bad night (3694)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.

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  (847): Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels. http://tfl.nu/hv8u
  Replies (13) Good night (7178) Bad night (1194)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.

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  (386): I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again. http://tfl.nu/wsfw
  Replies (13) Good night (1909) Bad night (1667)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.

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  (917): Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/c8gk
  Replies (2) Good night (3176) Bad night (900)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you

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  (262): When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you http://tfl.nu/zf8b
  Replies (8) Good night (3357) Bad night (1273)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

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  (847): Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight http://tfl.nu/9jn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1981) Bad night (649)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  This is the weirdest negotiation ever.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.

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  (678): This is the weirdest negotiation ever. (814): This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue. http://tfl.nu/rt97
  Replies (1) Good night (2045) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded

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  (904): I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded http://tfl.nu/240k
  Replies (9) Good night (5457) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance

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  (831): Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance http://tfl.nu/d5xa
  Replies (14) Good night (3104) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.

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  (405): There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation. http://tfl.nu/8ogi
  Replies (9) Good night (1064) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.

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  (630): It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again. http://tfl.nu/c0k2
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame

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  (727): I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame http://tfl.nu/nqk0
  Replies (6) Good night (1418) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical

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  (408): If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical http://tfl.nu/decu
  Replies (0) Good night (582) Bad night (289)

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