Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards

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  (651): Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards http://tfl.nu/4z51
  Replies (4) Good night (893) Bad night (1056)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.

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  (248): Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there. http://tfl.nu/llil
  Replies (55) Good night (1384) Bad night (3561)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.

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  (713): My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs. http://tfl.nu/vmqk
  Replies (34) Good night (3362) Bad night (873)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name

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  (610): It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name http://tfl.nu/7lfm
  Replies (13) Good night (4893) Bad night (1161)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom

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  (917): shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom http://tfl.nu/fv07
  Replies (13) Good night (5962) Bad night (1247)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON

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  (843): REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON http://tfl.nu/qqb2
  Replies (12) Good night (1428) Bad night (2652)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.

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  (732): I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds. http://tfl.nu/t1fp
  Replies (4) Good night (1879) Bad night (768)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.

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  (740): As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there. http://tfl.nu/knxy
  Replies (11) Good night (3529) Bad night (793)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

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  (520): Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes http://tfl.nu/y839
  Replies (3) Good night (1502) Bad night (774)
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  (707): View more from California

  drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.

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  (707): drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius. http://tfl.nu/e6s0
  Replies (5) Good night (1713) Bad night (627)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$

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  (304): I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$ http://tfl.nu/l4gn
  Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (287)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  He meets the coolest people when he's drunk

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  (316): Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget (1-316): He meets the coolest people when he's drunk http://tfl.nu/0j8z
  Replies (1) Good night (993) Bad night (684)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.

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  (804): Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me. http://tfl.nu/u8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (524) Bad night (361)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...

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  (360): He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do... http://tfl.nu/lmar
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (315)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.

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  (612): I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear. http://tfl.nu/u47i
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (300)

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