Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.