Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
