my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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