i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I love you.
Bad choice
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
