A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
