Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
