is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
