in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
