The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
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I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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