If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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