He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
