who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
