I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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