when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
dude. I can hear the air.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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