Non-Jews are for practice
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think my moral compass just broke
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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