On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Alive.
So much puke
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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