If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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