He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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