I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
