just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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