In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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