what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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