38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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