Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
nutella sex= disaster
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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