its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Randomize
