Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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