FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Who died my cat blue again?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
