The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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