she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
