OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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