If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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