to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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