That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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