I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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