We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
