I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
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I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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