he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
