I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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