so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My first STD was from a foam party
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
