he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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